Anatomy

A beautiful soul. A glow in my heart. May God grace you. Know that I’m there… not in body but in presence of mind and spirit.

Now… I’m in a new place, ready for a new life. I’ve left my most precious things behind, only to develope stronger bonds. My take on my future is a place where she will be.. So I’ll dedicate my heart, soul, pride and every muscle, bone to fulfill this future. For I cannot bear the thought of not having one without this treasure that I have dicovered and come to love.

It’s quite simple, really, when you want something badly, the harsh truth, fact, is deleted and replaced with projections of fantasy. For that moment when you live out your fantasy, the sugar-coated reality feeds on your soul like opium does on the brain. You lose grip of what’s around, your senses are numbed to paralysis, and you only want the comforting sweetness. The seconds turn to hours and days, you thrive in the infinite abyss that cease to exist. When you wake up from your dream, reality shatters the beauty you create. The love you seek becomes a black hole and your world implodes to the never ending point. Your soul crumbles because you realize that what you want is impossible, and you sink into that insatious despair. There is no more light at the end of the tunnel.

Cupid strikes when you are most likely not ready. Because of it I am back running on a long stretch of highway. The road that lie ahead is destined to be a collision course. I don’t know if I am fully prepared for it. No armor can save me this time, no swords sharp enough to defend with, only invulnerability blankets my already cold shell. My last resort is to turn to a source that I have doubt in believing. My faith have betrayed me too often. The facts point to more uncertainties.